November 26, 2009

• Thanksgiving Musing

  4:30 p.m. - Well, it's Thanksgiving Eve... my anxiety is at a low hum thanks to the glass of wine I've had... what I really need is to be in a cottage by a lake somewhere with no one around! I desperately need to re-charge/re-boot/re-new (you get the idea)... My brother has been in the hospital several times since I last posted - I just hope he makes it thru the Winter... my boys have moved out (2 weeks ago) to their Dad's & I really don't know why, I can only guess... the daily stress w/ RB really gets to them, & they're not in love w/ him so they easily get pissed off by his rules, over-controlling behavior, & the way we yell @ each other some times... I hope they will be able to sit down & tell me/us some day b/c it will do them a world of good to "get it out" & to learn that problems must be resolved face-to-face (you can't always run!)... easier said than done, though...

  On a positive note, I have realized it's time to "re-build" my life; I can no longer operate in "Mom-as-reason-for-existence mode... My boys are both over 21, they are living their lives, I am always available to them (& they know this)... I have lived so long in that mode, though, that it's hard to think of another way to live... I don't exactly enjoy being a "Wife" - whatever that definition is!  I love RB, enjoy parts of living with him, but I am taking it a day @ a time... I am going to explore my love of spirituality/mysticism more, & plan to join a like-minded women's group...

  Time to find more wine!

  WOW (Words of Wysdom) - May you be Thankful, May you be Blessed, May joy be a-plenty to you my dear guest... OK, I wax poetic now & then! 

  Namaste~

  Love & Light,

  Enna

  • 2:08 am
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